NFL Picks, Week 2

Off to a decent start with an opening week of 11-5.

Houston @ Tennessee
New Orleans @ Philadelphia
Arizona @ Jacksonville
Oakland @ Kansas City
Cincinnatti @ Green Bay
Minnesota @ Detroit
St. Louis @ Washington
New England @ New York Jets
Carolina @ Atlanta
Tampa Bay @ Buffalo
Seattle @ San Francisco
Baltimore @ San Diego
Pittsburgh @ Chicago
Cleveland @ Denver
New York Giants @ Dallas
Indianapolis @ Miami

I made most of these picks on Thursday, and looking at them after a couple days time, I think I might have overreacted to a team's Week 1 performance. I mean, really, it's just 1/16th of their schedule. Week 2 is the toughest week on bettors and bookies. You get some artificial lines from bookies, but most of the difficulty lies on the general public who let their eyes trick their minds.

Paging Dr. Funke, Paging Dr. Funke...

Football is back, homos. Strap on your purses and let's get it on. I've already posted my lineup for one of my teams, Nice Tits!, so here's my Swingin' Dude Club league, now in it's 2nd year.

QB Drew Brees
WR Calvin Johnson, Anquan Boldin, TJ Houshmandzadeh, Anthony Gonzalez (flex)
RB Fred Jackson, Felix Jones
TE Jeremy Shockey
K Josh Brown
DEF San Diego
IDPs: James Laurinaitis, Yeremiah Bell, Justin Tuck

Reminder about scoring. Passing QB is 6 points. A completion is half a point for your QB. A reception is a point. Most of the other scoring is pretty standard.

I'm favored, for what it's worth, 156.6 - 149.62.

NFL Picks

The home inspection got bumped to today, so I've got the last real hurdle between me and my new home and the return of the NFL on the same day. Hopefully my head won't explode. I've been up and down the last few years with my picks. Let's see how this year goes. My pick in bold.

Tennessee @ Pittsburgh
Miami @ Atlanta
Kansas City @ Baltimore
Philly @ Carolina
Denver @ Cincy
Minnesota @ Cleveland
New York Jets @ Houston
Jacksonville @ Indianapolis
Detroit @ New Orleans
Dallas @ Tampa Bay
San Fran @ Arizona
Washington @ New York Giants
St. Louis @ Seattle
Chicago @ Green Bay
Buffalo @ New England
San Diego @ Oakland

It's Almost Go Time

Thursday can't come soon enough for me. Bring on football season, bring on my home inspection on Friday, bring on the cold front that's supposed to roll through St. Louis. My team Nice Tits! in the Neverland Child Care league will roll with the following lineup:

QB Matt Schaub
WR Calvin Johnson, Marques Colston, Eddie Royal
RB Steven Jackson, Kevin Smith
TE Zach Miller
K Josh Brown
DEF/ST New York Jets

My bench will consist of receivers Kevin Walter and Donald Driver and running backs LenDale White, Donald Brown, LeSean McCoy and Fred Jackson.

My opponent has the Tom Brady-Randy Moss duo, along with Ochocinco and Bernard Berrian, Michael Turner and Ronnie Brown and his Tight End is tied to my QB, the Texans Owen Daniels. I'm a projected loser, by a score of 87-99.

The Swingin' Dude Club: Year 2

My Team:
Dr. Funke 1. (4) Drew Brees 2. (21) Calvin Johnson 3. (28) Anquan Boldin 4. (45) T.J. Houshmandzadeh 5. (52) Anthony Gonzalez 6. (69) Felix Jones 7. (76) Knowshon Moreno 8. (93) Fred Jackson 9. (100) LeSean McCoy 10. (117) San Diego 11. (124) Jeremy Shockey 12. (141) John Carlson 13. (148) James Davis 14. (165) James Laurinaitis 15. (172) Laurent Robinson 16. (189) Justin Tuck 17. (196) Yeremiah Bell 18. (213) Josh Brown

My Buddy "James" team:
Frank The Tank 1. (5) Maurice Jones-Drew 2. (20) Reggie Wayne 3. (29) Peyton Manning 4. (44) Wes Welker 5. (53) Jason Witten 6. (68) DeSean Jackson 7. (77) Matt Schaub 8. (92) Jerricho Cotchery 9. (101) Donald Brown 10. (116) New England 11. (125) Ahmad Bradshaw 12. (140) Earl Bennett 13. (149) D.J. Williams 14. (164) Barrett Ruud 15. (173) Chaz Schilens 16. (188) Trent Cole 17. (197) Jermaine Phillips 18. (212) John Carney

My Buddy Pat's team:
Flickin' the Bean 1. (9) Brian Westbrook 2. (16) Chris Johnson 3. (33) Pierre Thomas 4. (40) Brandon Marshall 5. (57) Antonio Bryant 6. (64) Hines Ward 7. (81) Carson Palmer 8. (88) Kellen Winslow 9. (105) Tennessee 10. (112) Kris Brown 11. (129) Will Blackmon 12. (136) Danieal Manning 13. (153) Kelly Gregg 14. (160) Willis McGahee 15. (177) Domenik Hixon 16. (184) Chester Taylor 17. (201) Joe Flacco 18. (208) Vernon Davis

My Buddy Matt's team:
Elephantitis 1. (1) Adrian Peterson 2. (24) Greg Olsen 3. (25) Jay Cutler 4. (48) Baltimore 5. (49) Vincent Jackson 6. (72) Devin Hester 7. (73) Jonathan Stewart 8. (96) Torry Holt 9. (97) Laveranues Coles 10. (120) Ryan Longwell 11. (121) Justin Miller 12. (144) Mike Vrabel 13. (145) Dwan Edwards 14. (168) Heath Miller 15. (169) Michael Crabtree 16. (192) Ricky Williams 17. (193) Michael Jenkins 18. (216) Carolina

$8000 Obama Dollars!

So I'm pretty close to getting my first home. 1700 square feet in my hometown. It'll put me back within bike riding distance of work. The lady and I love the quiet neighborhood and the walking potential. I dig the bike riding potential of the area.

They were asking $119,900, I managed to get them down to $117,900. I signed a bunch of the mortgage paperwork Thursday and so the only thing standing between us and this house is a full home inspection, pest/insect inspection, appraisal (it has to appraise at least to the value we're paying), and final underwriting review of the mortgage stuff.

Hopefully we can be in by the end of the month. First week of October at the latest. It used to have an attached one car garage that they turned into livable area (and it now has two front doors). It's a second family room right now, I think it would make a nice study or den (the fireplace is in there), but we'll see what we end up doing with it. It's got a big kitchen and dining room area. Three bedrooms. One bath. We're already looking at ways to put another half bath in. Between dad's mechanical competence and Kathy's dad (he's been a pipefitter for about 35 years) they were walking around it talking about how easy it would be to do this or that.

The bedrooms have these big, all-wood full wall closets that I really like. It looks a little different, but I think it will maximize the closet storage and accessibility. There's a concrete pad in front of what used to be the old garage. On the other edge of the property is a gravel driveway that goes around back to a detached garage. It's a little bigger than a one car, I'd call it 1.5 car. It looks like they dismantled part of an old pole barn and built this thing. It's really tall, taller than a regular garage, so it seems like there's a bit more storage out there. Next to that are two small metal sheds. Kind of like the 10'x12' variety, although I don't know if they're exactly that size.

The back yard has a couple of really mature evergreen trees. I'm not crazy about them, but they are pretty good sized and there's a big open spot so playing frisbee or catch or washers or bags or whatever wouldn't be a problem. We're talking about maybe getting an in-ground pool eventually. And a trampoline. Me and the the kid all love the trampolinin'.

It's a really deep lot so there's plenty of backyard. It's completely fenced in the back too which is what we'd prefer with the kid and the cat. The roof looks in great shape although we don't know it's age just yet. The air conditioner looks a tad on the older side, but the house was still being kept cool. It's on a crawl, so there's no basement issues to worry about.

It has about 270 square feet of pavers just out back and part of the patio is covered. We can't wait to get a fire pit and drink coffee out there in the crisp autumn evenings around the crackling of a fire. There's a sliding glass door that leads into the house from there.

Between Kathy, the realtor, and I making two passes through it, and both sets of our parents looking it over once, none of us found anything really wrong with it. Just some things we'd like to change to our tastes. The only thing that won't pass the Madison County inspection is that it needs the ground fault interruptors on the outlets, but that's pretty minor. As long as there's no mold in the crawl or up in the attic it should be good to go. It just went through a sale three years ago and there wasn't a problem them. One of the owners showed up while we were looking at it and said the crawlspace is really deep and really immaculate.

So if everything goes according to plan, I'll be liveblogging NFL games on Sunday mornings in front of our big screen in a new home by week 4 of the NFL season.

It's Dickheads Like This....

Pardon the title of this post, but it’s dickhead like the guy I’m about to mention that make me not want to play free leagues. I wrote this big review of my first fantasy draft of the year several days back. The draft went well enough I thought. I had since dropped Earnest Graham for Fred Jackson. Jackson’s the undisputed #1 guy in Buffalo for the first 3 games while Marshawn Lynch is suspended. Based on their play last year, Jackson has a robust chance of being the starter even once Lynch returns. But I digress.

The league was real close to your standard scoring format. 4 points for a passing touchdown, 6 for receiving or rushing TDs. This is the principle upon which we drafted. Because of this format, quarterbacks are pretty equal with running backs and receivers. So I wait until the 5th round to go for a quarterback, taking Matt Schaub. Schaub’s a guy with top-tier potential, who will at least produce 2nd tier production (if healthy), but is still coming with a third tier price tag. But in this format, he’ll be a solid starter each week.

So three days after the draft, what happens? The commissioner decides to make the following changes:

Pass TD points changed from ‘4’ to ‘6’
Trade Review changed from ‘League Votes’ to ‘Commissioner’
Divisions changed from ‘No’ to ‘Yes, (2 divisions)’
Fractional points changed from ‘Yes’ to ‘No’
Playoff Seeding Options changed from ‘none’ to ‘Division winners awarded
top playoff seeds’

Well, isn’t that cute? I can’t tell if he’s a numbskull who did it on a whim because he likes to see big numbers in the weekly scores or if he thinks it will benefit him more than an opponent, and he’s fishing for an edge. Given the particular changes, I think he’s looking for a leg up.

So we are induced to join the league based on one format. We do our homework, set our draftboards and go through a live draft that lasts about 2 hours and 10 minutes all under one scoring premise. And days later, this dope decides to change everything. He doesn’t see why – IT RENDERS EVERYTHING A PERSON HAS DONE UP UNTIL THAT POINT MOOT.

So the TD scoring changes favor teams that went for an elite QB early. It makes the top-tier guys more valuable. He’s taking back the power of veto from the league and placing it all in his hands. If he wants to make a shady deal, no one else can do anything about it other than gripe. If he wants to prevent a rival from fairly and legitimately adding a piece, he can singlehandedly veto it.

By splitting the 10 teams into 2 divisions he could be trying to guarantee himself a pass into the playoffs. Obviously, there’s a lot of football (real and fake) to be played between now and January. But looking at the teams on paper, the division I got stuck in has 3 very strong looking teams, one darkhorse contenter, and one team that looks ho-hum. His division has two decent looking teams and three average ones.

The fractional points thing is kind of a coin flip. It’s more a matter of preference. Maybe he’s been a tough luck loser a time or two before. I know I have. But that’s the deal. You can win by a hair or lose by a hair. If my team gets two more yards than yours and wins by .01 points, I’ll take it. It might suck for you, but hey, I did out gain you. One one-hundreth of a point is one one-hundreth of a point. Throwing out any fractions and rounding everything off is like having a big penis contest and then saying you’re only going to measure in inches – no fourths, eights, tenths, sixteenths or thirty-seconds. So what’s the point? This is a game, there’s supposed to be a winner and a loser, even if you have to measure down to the hundreth of a point and count every yard, you do it because you’re trying to find a winner.

Imagine the league championship week has two teams tie with matching scores of 100-100. Team A actually had 100.92 points if you were to count fractional points, and Team B scored 100.04. Who should win? The tie-breaker would go back to overall record. So what if Team A was 10-2 in the regular season and Team B was 11-1. Team B is your league champion. Sound fair?

Didn’t think so.

So I posted a public message to this doofus outlining some of my points, mostly about the draft being moot now, how the scoring change would’ve affected my draft strategy, and how I would’ve signed up for a league with these scoring rules if I had wanted a league with these scoring rules. I said he should change them back, or, at the very least put it to a league vote. If only one or two other people had a problem with it, then hey, majority rules. I’d post my exact message, but dickweed went and deleted all the public posts.

Here’s what he sent me back. I have it because he also emailed it to me.

Jesus Big guy,
I was unaware there were people that were so tempermental
about their FREE fantasy league. I repeat FREE!!!!! I would of thought
someone who joins a public league with the user name "Nice Tits" would put about
as much thought into the scoring as you did choosing that name. In
response to your idea of letting the league vote, well.... that would be an
option, but I'm pretty sure only 5% of the league showed up on draft night. Why
you ask? Cause they could give a shit. Half of them probably don't even remember
signing up.

So sit back, sharpen your knife so you can take more self portraits and
don't worrie about my scoring system.

Commish-

Some very articulate arguments in there, huh?

IT’S FREE! Why are you complaining? Did I say FREE!! Yeah, well, the donut shop down the street gives out free coffee if you buy enough donuts, but if that coffee is laced with arsenic, I’m not going to want it whether it’s free or you pay me to take a cup. No thanks.

I love his third point, which he put the most effort into. I like it when people make up stats to back up their point of view. Uhhhh, yeah, I’d change it but no one else cares, so, tough titty, kitty. Ok. Alright.

It took me awhile to figure out what he meant by the last line but it’s a reference to my avatar I use as my icon. It’s a headshot of GOB Bluth holding a knife in his mouth while doing a magic trick from the show Arrested Development.

My response went something like this:

It’s not about whether I pay for the league or not, it’s about the time
people have invested in it.

Don’t make assumptions about how seriously I take the league just by my
team name. If you judge a book by it’s cover you’ll look like a
stooge.

5% of the 10 managers would be half of one person. I obviously
care, so there’s 10% and you care enough to change the scoring, so we’re up to
20%. While we’re making blind halfass guesses, I sat through the entire
draft for over two hours and almost no one ran out of time and had to auto
pick. It might have happened a couple of times, but not with any sort of
regularity. So at least 9 of the 10 managers were here for the draft that
they don’t remember signing up for and even guy #10 was here for most of the
draft. Pretty miraculous everyone of these rubes managed to find their way
to the draft when they don’t remember signing up.

I’d quote it verbatim, but about an hour after my response, numbnuts logged in and deleted all messages posted up until that point. Guess someone doesn’t like public dissent. It lends creedence to my thought that he’s trying to manipulate the rest of the league in his favor.

Anyways, I tried reporting him to Yahoo! Under their sportsmanship and fair play policy. I doubt they do anything. The policy is mostly intended for owners who conspire against another owner, any sort of league collusion to gang up one one or two teams, etc… I’m trying to make the case that he started the league under false pretenses all along, and that these changes are efforts to circumvent normal competition in order to give him an unfair advantage. Like I said, I don’t think it will fly. He hasn’t done anything too shady yet. He hasn’t vetoed a trade, made a ridiculous one for himself, frozen anyone’s roster out of spite, and the scoring changes still present a level playing field for everyone at this point. It just would’ve modified my draft strategy. Others probably would have as well. I’m just upset that I was misled. Duped. Bait and switched. And I’ve had my time wasted.

If only Yahoo had an Asshole Commissioner Policy I could file my complaint under...

Neverland Child Care Draft Results

Pretty standard scoring league: 25 yds per point, passing TDs 4 points, INTs are -1, rushing & receiving are 1 point for every 10 yards, 6 points for a TD, fumbles are a -2 deduction. Bench formations are QB, WR, WR, WR, RB, RB, TE, K, DEF/ST, and 6 bench spots.

1(10) - Steven Jackson, RB, St. Louis Rams
Not going to lie, I really wanted S-Jax to slide to me. I was really hoping we had that one idiot who takes a QB in the first round and sure enough, someone took Drew Brees at #2 overall.

I'm less concerned about the injury history than others. He's the undisputed top back on his roster. They revamped the O-line. The team has a new toughness under Steve Spagnuolo. They have a run-first philosophy now and a West Coast offensive playbook that will be heavy on runs to Jackson and generous on throws to him as well. Think of Brian Westbrook the last 3 years, how Philly's entire offense ran through him. That's what Pat Schumer wants to do with Jackson. And they have a real fullback for the first time since Jackson's dominant season a couple of years ago. Despite missing four games last year and constantly being behind and having to throw Jackson still ran for 1042 yards, caught 379 yards in passes and scored 8 total TDs.

2(11) - Calvin Johnson, WR, Detroit Lions
How Johnson managed 1331 yards receiving and 12 touchdowns on an 0-16 team that didn't have a quarterback, didn't have a running back for most of the year and didn't have much in the way of other weapons to take the heat off him is remarkable. He's as talented as anyone in the league and his floor this year seems to be a repeat of last year. How high does the ceiling go? I don't know. No one does. I made him the second receiver off the board.

3(30) - Kevin Smith, RB, Detroit Lions
I'm a little alarmed that two of my first three picks came from the lowly Lions, but Smith doesn't face a ton of competition and unlike most of the rookie RBs last year actually got better as the season went on. He's right smack-dab in that second tier of running backs and between the 11th and 29th picks 7 other backs went. It was draft two receivers with my picks at the turn or split them up. I wanted a split and Smith was the best left on the board. I considered there to be a fairly depreciable drop off right after him. Ryan Grant was still around, but that was about it. Despite not starting out of the gate, he managed 976 yards on the ground and 286 through the air with 8 scores.

4(31) - Marques Colston, WR, New Orleans Saints
Had to get another wideout here and it was a toss up between Colston and Marshall. Terrell Owens was around, but I have no confidence in him or his QB, Trent Edwards. Marshall is the better natural talent, but he's had injuries (more so than Colston) and comes with all kinds of baggage. Colston has been good to me in the past and I'm looking forward to him being fully healthy again this year. He got hurt fairly early in the 1st game last year and missed the next 6 games as well. So his 760 yards and 5 scores really only came in about 9 games. If healthy, he's a good bet for 1200 yards and double-digit scores.

5(50) - Matt Schaub, QB, Houston Texans
I might have pulled the trigger a tad too soon on Schaub. But I really wanted him. After my last pick, Romo, Warner, Rivers, Rodgers and McNabb all went off the board. Schaub might not be in the same tier, but he's the last one I'd really consider close for this upcoming season. He missed five and a half games last year, but still threw for over 3000 yards and 15 TDs. His 276 average per game and 92.7 QB rating are very nice, but the injury history is a tad worrisome. If he stays healthy, Houston has a dynamite offense.

6(51) - Eddie Royal, WR, Denver Broncos
With 3 wide receiver spots and no flex position, it puts a tad more importance on getting wideouts before running backs. The Broncos may be a mess, but Royal will still be productive. I fully expect them to be trailing every game and having to have Kyle Orton (gulp!) throw way more than Mr. Neckbeard ever should be asked to. As long as Brandon Marshall is healthy and not suspended across from him, Royal should be plenty good. He's solid downfield, he's solid in the short and intermediate game and he's got speed and moves to make any ordinary play extraordinary.

7(70) - Kevin Walter, WR, Houston Texans
At this point I'm looking for depth, and it's down to wide receivers or running backs. I think there's some tremendous value in later rounds with some young backs, and I've already espoused the importance I place on receiver depth. So Walter was the pick. He's nothing flashy, just a monster target on the outside with good hands and steady, if unspectacular production. Andre Johnson takes all the attention among receivers, making Walter a difficult matchup. Last year he posted 900 yards and 8 scores.

8(71) - LenDale White, RB, Tennessee Titans
Alright, tubby. I need running back depth and despite your years of trying to down your NFL career Teneessee has stood by you and given you chances. And like hamburgers, you ate them right up. Last year's total of 15 TDs seems unlikely, but not impossible, although now that he's reported leaner than he's been since high school, White might get a few more carriers outside of the red zone. And hotshot youngster Chris Johnson isn't exactly the most unbreakable running back.

9(90) - Donald Driver, WR, Green Bay Packers
This is one of those picks that isn't sexy and you don't feel good making it, but Driver is still a good player who will give you steady production. Green Bay still figures to throw quite a bit, so there's no threat of a regime or system change affecting things. The weather up in Green Bay becomes worrisome come November, but Driver has battled through it before. Last year's 1012 yards and 5 scores were his 6th year of at least 1000 yards and 5 scores. He won't get back to his 2004-06 averages, but this is still a quality performer.

10(91) - Zach Miller, TE, Oakland Raiders
I'd been looking at the tight end pool for a couple of rounds. There was a big group of guys I saw as bargains because of their average draft position and still developing ceilings. This group includes Greg Olsen (although the price tag isn't too cheap now that Cutler is in town), Dustin Keller, John Carlson, Miller, hell, I'm still willing to give Vernon Davis one more season (his coordinator is the guy who helped mold Tony Gonzalez's career). I even think a guy like Randy McMichael of the Rams can be a 700 yard, 6-8 score guy. But Miller is locked onto by Raiders "QB" JaMarcus Russell as much as any other tight end in the league. Even if they don't get to the red zone much, and there's not a ton of big plays, Miller's 14 targets a game mean he's going to get the ball plenty and it's going to add up.

11(110) - Donald Brown, RB, Indianapolis Colts
I wanted to go back to the running back pool again and was looking at the plethora of seeminghly high-upside guys sitting there. I've been burned by Joseph Addai a couple times over the last couple years, so I'm as willing as anyone to believe that Brown's share of the timeshare Indy is cooking up can be as high as 40% initially. I'm also one of those that thinks that by mid-November, Brown is the clear #1 in Indy's backfield. He's smart, he's looked good in pre-season so far, and he's said to have solid hands, so I see Indy using him quite a bit this year even prior to the inevitable Addai breakdown. If only he had a top-end gear....

12(111) - Earnest Graham, RB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I was considering any number of options here, but Graham jumped out at me. I'd considered a backup QB for Schaub for a few rounds (and came oh-so-close to drafting Carson Palmer with the Zach Miller pick). I had Matt Hasselbeck still sitting there. Felix Jones and Derrick Mason looked solid picks for this spot too. But I can really see Graham becoming the goalline guy for Tampa Bay. Derrick Ward has never been the #1 guy before. He ran behind a much better line the last few years in New York, and had Brandon Jacobs pounding on defenses before he came in. He's not really a burner and he's not really an inside grinder either, so I don't know what to expect of him in a starring role. But Graham has been such a team guy for the Bucs the last couple of years that they're going to find regular work for him. He's short, stout and powerful. He's proven he can get short yardage and be good around the goalline. He's not going to be a big yardage guy, but if he continues his productivity around the chalk, he'll be one heck of a deal in the 12th round.

13(130) - New York Jets Defense & Special Teams
Picking at the back of the draft, I felt I had to go for Kicker and DEF/ST one round earlier each than I normally would. Unless I wanted to pick through leftovers. Sure there were some ninny's that went for defenses and kickers way too early. Philadelphia was the first defense taken, at the end of the 6th round. New York Giants, Pittsburgh, Baltimore and Tennessee went in the 8th round. Minnesota went in the 9th, Chicago in the 11th, and San Diego in the 12th. So I was looking at the Jets, New England or Dallas. I don't like Dallas' secondary and I'm not overly impressed by their special teams. New England is always good, but I don't feel like they have many guys that can take a couple turnovers back to the house. And their special teams are just alright. The Jets were the 4th best defense in this format last year and they've since added Rex Ryan and his Baltimore swagger. It helps that he brought Bart Scott and Jim Leonhardt over with him. Vernon Gholston should take a step up. They've got guys who can force turnovers and take them back for points. And what separates them from the other two is an exceptional return man in Leon Washington. Every year he seems to take two or three punts and a kickoff or two back for scores.

14(131) - Josh Brown, K, St. Louis Rams
I supposed I could have waited for whatever kicker was available with the very last pick of the draft, but since there's bonus points for longer field goals (3 points for 39 yards and less, 4 for 40-49 points, and 5 for kicks over 50 yards) there were two kickers I figure to get plenty of chances and who have been good at long kicks that I felt like I liked better than any ole' kicker. Brown gets the nod over Matt Prater because he has a longer track record and kicks half his games in a dome.

15(150) - LeSean McCoy, RB, Philadelphia Eagles
I felt ok going for a kicker one round earlier than I would because there was a lot of guys I like that couldn't all possibly go before my final pick. I liked Shonn Greene up in New York. I don't have much confidence in Thomas Jones, and I really like his bruising style. But Jones is at least healthy. There's Julius Jones, who I wasn't considering, who's at least back #1a in Seattle, and his co-back TJ Duckett, who I could see getting 8-10 TDs as a goalline specialist. There's Darren Sproles, the dynamic backup and return man for San Diego. There's Baltimore's goalline bruiser Le'Ron McClain. There's Buffalo's best back Fred Jackson (don't get me going on Marshawn Lynch) who will be their starter for at least the first 3 games. And Rashard Mendenhall. There's New England's goalline guy, Sammy Morris. There's the Giants' #2, burner Ahmad Bradshaw, who could do what Derrick Ward did so well as to get a starting gig and $17 million from Tampa Bay. There's handcuffs Jerious Norwood and Chester Taylor. And there's two guys who figure to start the season as their teams' #1's - Tim Hightower of Arizona and Correll Buckhalter of Denver. The free agent pool is fairly deep and seemingly a mile wide.

But with Brian Westbrook's littered injury history, his slow recovery from ankle surgery, Philly's offensive style of spreading the ball around to everyone with a pulse and their own admission that McCoy is someone they're getting on the field - NOW - with or without Westbrook, well that was enough for me. He's looked very good in preseason and they've rebuilt their offensive line.

Like A Kid In A Candy Store

Got a fantasy football draft tonight. Hopefully, if the league fills in time. I've had the itch for a few weeks now and its been building and building. I've managed to suppress it thus far by telling myself that not enough roster & injury shakeouts had transpired and with the help of my lady's unrepentant hatred of fantasy sports.

But enough is enough.

Draft time is 6pm. I'm off at 2, got some errands to run, then I'll be back here at 5 to start the coffee and do a final review of my draft board. I'm thinking of video recording parts of the draft this year on my new laptop's webcam. Not sure that that's something I want living on in perpetuity on the internet, but we'll see. I videotaped most of one of my drafts last year, but never got it off the camcorder.

It's a pretty standard league, so reshuffling of my rankings should be minimal. The league name? Neverland Child Care.

Fantastic! I love the internet.

I'm With You, Fran Tarkenton

The Hall of Fame QB and 13 year member of the Minnesota Vikings pretty much nailed my thoughts on the latest developments in this Brett Favre Saga. Story here, video here.

Let's recap. Favre is wishy-washy on his future for a couple of off-seasons. At some point a couple years ago, after already having drafted a Backup Plan A, paid him millions and made him ride the pine for two years, the club decides they're going to use their shiny new youngster more, being that he's the future of the franchise. The Packers demand a firm answer of Favre. He's ho-hum and eventually demands his release (through his agent named "Bus"). Favre starts a string of about fifteen retirements, cries on national television a few times and shoots some Wrangler jean commercials (stay classy, Hattiesburg, MS). Favre rides back in on his decrepit old, white horse, being reinstated and forcing the Pack's hand. Somewhere in here I call him a dope. The Pack trade him off for draft picks. Favre plays the "game manager" well for about a half-season, starts bombing and the Jets miss the playoffs in spectacular fashion. Favre more or less gets his head coach Eric Mangini fired in the process, not that tubby didn't do enough on his own to merit this result.

Favre decides he's retired for good. He thinks. I like the quote from the ESPN article:

At first, Favre said he would remain retired. Then he wasn't sure. He said he
would let the Vikings know by July 30. Then he decided he'd stay retired. Then
on Tuesday, he flew to Minnesota and signed a two-year deal worth $25 million.

That's not too much like a 13 year old girl changing her mind about something every time she gets upset. So Favre gets to skip training camp, get a 25 million dollar contract, and scuttle a potential Super Bowl contender. Packer fans are outraged. I understand that reaction. But on the other hand, he just made your biggest threat to the NFC North championship way easier to beat. Do we fault Brett Favre that much, or is he really just a slow adult who thought he could still play because he can outgun the 11th grade QB of the local high-school team? I can see where a slow adult would fall into that trap....

Hey, also in from the "Stories that Won't Die Department" is Michael Vick's reinstatement and signing with the Philadelphia Eagles. This is what I wrote way back when I started this blog. It was like my fourth post.

Let's talk about the Football part of this development. I'm going to start by saying that Vick is too small in build to be a running back. I'm going to continue by saying he's too old to learn to play wideout at this point. Third, I'm going to cite his career completion percentage: 53.8. On his merits as a passer, Michael Vick has never been a good quarterback. He's subpar. He's not going to unseat Donovan McNabb. If the Eagles don't resign McNabb, they're making a mistake. Vick can't execute the West Coast Offense.

Sure, he's athletic, and he can throw deep. And the runs....wow, the runs. But he's not accurate. He's never been a leader. And if your postseason hopes hinge on a guy who can't execute the play that's called, but instead relies on being a "weapon" when plays break down, you're not going anywhere.

At best, Michael Vick may be useful upwards of 20 plays a game as a Wildcat quarterback or a receiver or back who goes in motion and works out of the slot. Even then, I don't have high expectations.

Now, on this reinstatement & signing as a matter of society - just because you serve your time for an offense you commit, doesn't mean you're entitled to full reinstatement of your privileges. Felons who serve their time still don't get to vote or own firearms. In the insurance business, if you're busted for Premium Trust Law violation, you could go to prison, pay some fines, but you don't always get your insurance license back after you've done your time. It depends on the offense. Lawyers who commit crimes and serve their time can still be disbarred. Doctors can lose their medical licenses and not get them back even after they've done their time.

Michael Vick served 18 months of a 24 month sentence and immediately finds himself reinstated. Like nothing ever happened. Sure, sure, it's conditional reinstatement. Ok. Keep telling yourself that.

Doing your time for the crime you've been committed doesn't mean things go back to the way they used to be. It just means you're free again. I don't get this lack of consistency from the Commissioner. He's been preaching about the NFL's image, insisting that playing in the league is a privilege, not a right. So why the quid pro quo? Like everything else about the NFL, it's probably all about the benjamins.

Let's address the argument comparing Vick's offense to Leonard Little. In 1998, I believe, Little was driving drunk and hit a woman named Susan Gutweiller, who was on her way to pick up her teenage son from a Rob Zombie concert. It was big news for a long time here in St. Louis. It popped back up a couple years ago when Little got another DUI. It remains a sensitive topic. Little made a terrible decision that had devastating consequences. But it wasn't premeditated and it wasn't recurring. Was his sentence too light? I would guess yes, in all probability it was. Michael Vick personally beat dogs, he personally drowned dogs. Time and time again. He set out to do this and he carried it through. This was no accident. This was no recurring accident. It was what Michael Vick intended to do. Mission accomplished, big guy. And then he went to sleep for the night and would do it again another day. So beyond the fact that these two NFL players both were involved in heinous acts, I don't see the similarities in the two.

What was with CBS sending James Brown to do the interview with Vick for 60 minutes? Brown is a football broadcaster. Sure he's well respected and all, but he's not know for any hard-hitting or in-depth interviews. Why not send Mike Wallace? Or Steve Croft or Bob Simon? Send a real journalist, someone who's sat eye-to-eye with people before and asked really probing questions to get to the root of a story? Why send the jolly football guy who laughs and horses around every Sunday with the former jocks? I don't get this. Of course, it's because CBS has a multi-billion dollar contract with the NFL, but do they think no one's going to see through this? Why didn't we send our troops to Iraq armed with plastic spoons instead of M-16s? That's about how equipped I think James Brown is to handle the first sit-down Michael Vick has. Most of American wants to see how sincere this guy is. Most people can probably forgive him if he comes off as genuine and full of sorrow and remorse. But we'll never know, because CBS put a big fat softball up on a tee for Michael Vick. And despite it, I haven't met many people who had their minds changed by the interview. So it was all worthless fluff.