In Your Face With a Can of Mace

With the Sunday and Monday night games to go, it's already safe enough to call all four of my fantasy football matchups for the week.

Melvin Eats Blubber
Needing a victory to make the championship round of the playoffs, I'm up 232.83 - 174.90. I have Redskins tight end Chris Cooley (9.59 proj. pts) and Carolina middle linebacker Jon Beason (9.50) to play, while my opponent is done. I'm finishing the regular season at 7-7 and in fourth place. See you in the first round, baby!

Tobias Is Queen Mary
Last game of the regular season here, I can't move up or down, but I won anyways, 155 - 64. Both my opponent and I are out of players to play for the week, so that's a final. I finish at 9-4 and get the third seed.

Two more teams into the playoffs. Everybody dance, NOW!


Triple Midgetation
First round matchup. My gamble of Tyler Thigpen over Tony Romo at QB was the right one. Thigpen went for about 15 points (187 passing yards, TD, 34 rushing yards) while Romo was good for just 8 (210 passing yards, TD, 3INTs, 6 rushing yards). I'm up 104.78 - 85.66. I have Carolina running back DeAngelo Williams playing tomorrow (14.79 proj. pts) while my opponent needs a miracle to the eighth power from the Tampa defense (6.02 proj. pts). Second round, bitches!

Dr. Funke
This first round battle was closer than I'd have liked, but I'm up 167 - 156.5 right now. My opponent is out of players while I still have Jon Beason and Carolina placekicker John Kasay playing tomorrow. Those two, along with my nearly 9 point cushion should be just enough to make sure Yahoo doesn't fuck me out of a win, which they tend to do when all four of my teams win in the same week.

Two teams through to the second round. All the fat girls in the house bust a move!